Where You Lay Your Head


“Where you lay your head.” I had never heard this phrase until Gramarie said it. It was something she’d learned from her mother and it indicates the importance going to see family wherever they are. “I need to see where you lay your head,” Gramarie told me her mother had said when Steve left Michigan and moved to California for grad school and work.

Of course, Marie and Phil and her parents put those words into action. They hopped on a plane and flew to California to see where Steve laid his head, which was a studio apartment down the peninsula from San Francisco. They had a wonderful week-long visit, seeing where Steve lived and visiting many sites throughout the greater Bay Area.

Over the years, Gramarie has flown to various homes around the world to see where Steve and I lay our heads. The first place she saw us lay our heads was an apartment in Midlevels, Hong Kong.

Steve found this apartment for us, soon after we moved there for his job. Because I had to make an unexpected trip back to the US for a family medical emergency, Steve chose our apartment. I had been apartment hunting in Hong Kong for the previous few weeks and was glad to have him take over this task. Interestingly, because we had just gotten engaged, I was wary of several of the apartments I was shown that had what I called a “baby room.” These were rooms with baby-themed wallpaper, quite a popular phenomenon at the time. I didn’t think we were ready for one of these rooms, so I was inclined to cross off any apartment with a “baby room” from the shortlist of second-viewings I was compiling for Steve.

Wouldn’t you know, when I returned to Hong Kong after two weeks away, Steve had signed a lease for an apartment with a “baby room!” Unbeknownst to me, he didn’t seem to mind baby-themed wallpaper.

The baby room, of course, was our guest room. So, when Gramarie and Phil came to see where we laid our heads, they laid theirs in the baby room!

Steve and I thought we might be in Hong Kong for up to four years. However, after two short years, he was offered a job he couldn’t refuse back at the company Headquarters in California. We didn’t end up using the baby room for more than a guest room, with, of course, Gramarie and Phil as one of its occupants. Despite the baby wallpaper, we thought it was fantastic they knew where we laid our heads! Funny enough, I was pregnant with Philip when we moved back to the US, so maybe having a “baby room” wasn’t such a bad idea after all!

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